THE APPLICANT

It had been quite a busy day, but at last, the final applicant. I recalled how it seemed that the last one of a sequence often took longer and was the most difficult. This was certainly proving true today. The applicant sat before me.

He was giving odd answers to routine questions. I tried to be patient.  I was tired.  And puzzled.

"Mr. Venture," I continued.  "Would you mind if..."

"I know," he interrupted.  His tone still pleasant and resonant.  "You are bothered by my not knowing what an Oxo is..."

"Its not an Oxo," I cut in with an edge of correction. "There is rather a lot of it about you know."

"And the Python Montys I didn't know..."

"Monty Python.  They are a crazy comedy group." I thought everybody knew that.

Venture's frank and level gaze made me hesitant, and a little guilty for the sharpness of my remarks.  I sensed that facing me, behind that youthful gaze, was a high level of intelligence.  

   "What is the other questions you wish to ask me?"   

  "What are the questions," I modified. "Well I find it a little odd that someone with your academic background should make such elementary mistakes." This produced a protracted silence.  I scanned his documents in front of me.  

   When I finally looked up, I saw again the composure and the expression.  There was a much greater awareness of reality here than in any of the other applicants.  I waited. I knew he was keen to impress me.  He needed the job.  His hands rested lightly on the chair, strong and well shaped.  

   "Perhaps you might try me on specific subjects," he said, breaking the silence.  "Science, art, philosophy..."  

   "Alright," I added.  "What does Oolong mean to you?"   

  "A tea growing area in China."

"What can K2 be applied to?" 

   "Possibly the 2nd highest mountain.  It is in the.."

I stopped him.  He sounded intimately aware of this last subject.  "What do you know about the following?", I continued.  "Doppler effect, gravity waves, contrapuntal music forms, Koans in Zen, megabits?"  

   As fast as I fired them, he answered. Clean, sure, and accurate.  It was something.  I had half expected this but hardly hoped for it.  The office seemed suddenly warmer.  He looked cool and assured.  It was now suppertime.  The outside traffic rush had lessened.   

  This now seemed to me like grilling a spy. Well primed on major issues but less informed on local actions.  I decided to have one last go at the important questions. Maybe he was warmed up now and would make up for early mistakes.   

  "What is a Coke?"   

  "From coal?" The answer as a question.   

  "What is a strike?"   

  His voice now sounded assured.  "A find in mining?"  

   "No."  

   "A miss hit in a ball game?" 
   
"What is Bingo?"  

   When I saw his expression change from uncertainty to something akin to hopelessness, I regretted my below-the belt attack.  His unusual limitations and knowledge had a worldliness to them. And curiously he had somehow invoked the thought in me that there was some sense in my last, oblique observation.  Foolishness...  

   I had at least made up my mind by now.  He definitely was not suitable.  No way.  Reluctantly and gently I said to him, "Mr. Venture, I'm sorry but we no longer can consider you as a prospect for the staff of Trivia Pursuit Inc

Written by Jayce