Once there was a poor Jewish man. The poor Jewish man went to speak with his rabbi. “Rabbi,” the man said, “you must help me. My life is terrible. I live with my wife, our five children, and my mother-in-law. There is only one room for the eight of us. The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot. My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. It is crowded and noisy and horrible, I tell you.
Honestly, Rabbi, I don’t think it could be any worse!”
The rabbi rubbed his chin as he pondered the man’s situation.
“My son,” he said, “If you will promise to do as I tell you, your life will get better. Will you promise?”
“Yes, yes!” said the man. “I promise.”
“Tell me,” said the rabbi, “do you own any animals?”
“Yes,” said the man, “I have a goat—”
“Good!” said the rabbi. “Go home and take the goat into your house. Let it eat and sleep with you for a few days.”
Taking the goat in the house
The man was stunned. Take the goat into the house? The rabbi’s advice sounded like a crazy idea. But everyone knew the rabbi was a wise man, and so the poor man agreed to do what he said. He went home and led the goat into his house.
Two days later, the man went back to the rabbi.
“Oy vey!” he said. “I did as you said. I brought my goat into the house, but things are worse than before.”
Goat on the table
“The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot.
My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. The goat, she butts us with her head and knocks the dishes off the shelves. Help me, Rabbi. I don’t think it could be any worse!”
The rabbi sat quietly for a moment. Then he asked the man, “Do you have any other animals?”
“Yes,” said the man. “I have a cow—”
“Good!” said the rabbi. “Go home and take the cow into your house. Let it eat and sleep with you for a few days.”
Again, the man did as he was told. He went home and led the cow into his house.
Two days later, the man went back to see the rabbi.
Cow in the living room
“Oy vey!” he moaned. “I did as you said. I brought the cow into the house, and things are even worse than before. The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot. My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. The goat, she butts us with her head and knocks the dishes off the shelves. The cow, she eats our clothing. The house is like a barn! We can’t sleep for all of the bleating and mooing! Help me, Rabbi. I don’t think it could be any worse!”
The rabbi was silent for a long time. Then he asked, “Do you have any other animals?”
“Well,” said the man, pausing. “I have a goose.”
“Perfect!” said the rabbi. “Go home and take the goose into your house. Let it eat and sleep with you.”
Two days later, the man went back to the rabbi.
Goose on the carpet
“Oy vey!” he groaned. “Things are worse than ever! The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot. My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. The goat, she butts us with her head and knocks the dishes off the shelves. The cow, she eats our clothing. The goose, he honks and poops on the floor. I tell you, Rabbi, it is wrong for a man to eat and sleep with animals. I don’t think it could be any worse!”
“My son,” said the rabbi in a gentle voice, “You are right. Go home and take the animals out of your house. You will find the answer
Quiet, empty house
The next day the man came running to the rabbi.
“Rabbi!” he cried, his face beaming, “you have made life sweet for me. Now that all the animals are outside, the house is so quiet, so roomy, and so clean! How wonderful!”
Honestly, Rabbi, I don’t think it could be any worse!”
The rabbi rubbed his chin as he pondered the man’s situation.
“My son,” he said, “If you will promise to do as I tell you, your life will get better. Will you promise?”
“Yes, yes!” said the man. “I promise.”
“Tell me,” said the rabbi, “do you own any animals?”
“Yes,” said the man, “I have a goat—”
“Good!” said the rabbi. “Go home and take the goat into your house. Let it eat and sleep with you for a few days.”
Taking the goat in the house
The man was stunned. Take the goat into the house? The rabbi’s advice sounded like a crazy idea. But everyone knew the rabbi was a wise man, and so the poor man agreed to do what he said. He went home and led the goat into his house.
Two days later, the man went back to the rabbi.
“Oy vey!” he said. “I did as you said. I brought my goat into the house, but things are worse than before.”
Goat on the table
“The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot.
My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. The goat, she butts us with her head and knocks the dishes off the shelves. Help me, Rabbi. I don’t think it could be any worse!”
The rabbi sat quietly for a moment. Then he asked the man, “Do you have any other animals?”
“Yes,” said the man. “I have a cow—”
“Good!” said the rabbi. “Go home and take the cow into your house. Let it eat and sleep with you for a few days.”
Again, the man did as he was told. He went home and led the cow into his house.
Two days later, the man went back to see the rabbi.
Cow in the living room
“Oy vey!” he moaned. “I did as you said. I brought the cow into the house, and things are even worse than before. The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot. My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. The goat, she butts us with her head and knocks the dishes off the shelves. The cow, she eats our clothing. The house is like a barn! We can’t sleep for all of the bleating and mooing! Help me, Rabbi. I don’t think it could be any worse!”
The rabbi was silent for a long time. Then he asked, “Do you have any other animals?”
“Well,” said the man, pausing. “I have a goose.”
“Perfect!” said the rabbi. “Go home and take the goose into your house. Let it eat and sleep with you.”
Two days later, the man went back to the rabbi.
Goose on the carpet
“Oy vey!” he groaned. “Things are worse than ever! The children, they cry and fight. My wife, she screams a lot. My mother-in-law, she kvetches about everything. The goat, she butts us with her head and knocks the dishes off the shelves. The cow, she eats our clothing. The goose, he honks and poops on the floor. I tell you, Rabbi, it is wrong for a man to eat and sleep with animals. I don’t think it could be any worse!”
“My son,” said the rabbi in a gentle voice, “You are right. Go home and take the animals out of your house. You will find the answer
Quiet, empty house
The next day the man came running to the rabbi.
“Rabbi!” he cried, his face beaming, “you have made life sweet for me. Now that all the animals are outside, the house is so quiet, so roomy, and so clean! How wonderful!”
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